11/25/13

Thirty eight

John watched Larissa approach the house.  He thought she looked tense.  Her shoulders were squared, her jaw muscles were clenched and he could see that she walked stiffer.  Something had happened while she was out on the walk.  He wondered what could have possibly happened in this place, it seemed so peaceful, if a little remote for his taste.

He had been thinking about her while she had been gone.  He had been thinking about a lot of things while she had been gone.  He had watched her leave, her short choppy steps taking her quickly away from the house.  He knew she wouldn’t go beyond the grounds and he longed to follow her.  The map had looked very intriguing to him.  But he let her have her space. 

John needed the time alone as well.  He had not been left alone since the shift had happened.  He found himself wondering around the house, noticing all sorts of little details that he probably would never have seen before.  There were small things, like the cracks in the tiles in the bathroom.  There were larger things, like the knots on the beams of wood overhead.  He may have noticed these things and thought them ugly.  Or that they should be replaced with something man made, something visually perfect. 

He understood now what he was never capable of seeing before.  The cracks were perfect.  They were the way the universe brought balance to the tiles.  Otherwise the tiles might crack apart completely, turn into dust.  Instead they created little fissures and cracks to deal with the way the molecules shifted around them.  The knots in the beams were a similar story.  The tree they used to be a part of grew the knots as a way to get around the imperfections, the bugs or growths that sometimes happened.  They were the way the trees brought balance to an unbalanced situation.

Just as Larissa had brought balance back into his life.  She had giving him the rest of himself, the parts of him that had been missing for long. He had been trying to create growths, to fill the voids with material items.  Money, food, clothing, trips, all of these things meant nothing to him really.   He had fallen for the corporation’s line.  The materialistic line of advertising, marketing, mass trance that filled the airwaves and the television screens.  

None of it had meant anything.  When Larissa had reconnected him to himself he saw what he had been missing.  He saw all of the power, all of the abilities they had separated from him. He saw where he had been a part of fooling himself as well.  He was just as faulty as they were.  He had bought into all of it.  But now he had all of himself.  And now he had explored more of himself and felt better than he had in years. 

Yes.  He was glad that they had given him time to be alone.  To discover what had been missing.  Though he could not stretch his powers the way Larissa had.  That would set off alarms for sure.  He wasn’t sure how strong Tiana’s shield was, and he didn’t want to push it.  But he did experiment a little bit.  And he was glad that no one was there to witness the exploration.

He was glad to be away from Keith most of all.  Keith, who watched him angrily.  Keith who wanted to accuse him of something, but John wasn’t sure what.  He had never met Keith before, they had no history aside from the most recent past.  What was he mad about?

For a few hours, John had thought that maybe Keith was mad at John’s attraction to Tiana.  Tiana was beautiful and any man would feel her pull instantly.  She was like sunshine, like a rainbow, so shiny and bright.  He wanted nothing more than to be with her all the time, to bask in the glory of her energy while being protected by her shield.  He knew what it was about, though, Tiana’s pull on him.  He knew that she was present, that she was grounded in reality, and that she saw him.  When she looked at him, she saw him, she didn’t look past him or through him. 

He had liked being noticed.  Just as he was sure that every person Tiana had ever met liked being noticed.  It was a lovely feeling.  It was like coming home. 

So there was that.  John was sure that Keith felt something about Tiana and there was jealousy there.  But there seemed to be something more. 

John had stayed away from Larissa.  At least as far away as he could, considering they had shared the back seat of the car for hours.  He wasn’t attracted to her, at least not in the same way as he was Tiana.  He could not deny, however, that she also had appeal.  He liked the look of her face, those lips were made to be kissed.  And her eyes.  They seemed to tell so many stories.  There was a part of him that wanted to sit and read her eyes. 

But she was not interested in him.  At least not beyond what information she could glean from him about the corporation and their plans. 

Though she had agreed to reconnect him with himself and disconnect him with the corporation.  He wasn’t sure why she had said yes to that.  It put them all in danger to have him with them, but they seemed to need him.  They needed a fourth.

He watched her come up the stairs and stood when she came in the door.

“Did you have a good walk Larissa?” He asked her.

“Yes.  It is very beautiful here.  Nothing that I am used to seeing.” She was being polite.  Next she would talk about the weather, John thought to himself.

“Keith and Tiana aren’t back yet.”

“They aren’t?  I was hoping they would be.” Larissa looked around, as though she were lost.

“Larissa, I know we don’t know each other that well, and I was out to get you at one point, but… can you give me a hint as to what is wrong?  I don’t like seeing you look so tense.”

She looked at him for a moment and then nodded.  She walked over to where he had been sitting and took a seat across from him.  She studied him for a few moments.  He figured she was gathering her thoughts.  She was clutching something in her hand, as though her life depended on it.  He wondered what she had picked up.

“John, it’s got to change.”

“I know.”

“Do you?  I was out, walking the grounds, and there are altars everywhere.  People leave little bits of themselves behind because they are looking for, well, they are looking for the rest of them and they can’t find it.”

“It’s true.  People are separated from themselves on purpose.  And the marketing feeds them information on how they can become whole through material items.”

“But the material items don’t help them.”

“No.  They never have and they never will.”

“We have to do something.”

John nodded at her in agreement.  He knew that something needed to be done.  He had known that she was one of the people who could do what needed to be done.  He wasn’t sure that she knew it yet, but maybe she was starting to see.

“You know why they were after you, don’t you?”

“Because I can reconnect people to themselves.” She answered, almost flatly.

“And you know what that means.”

“That means the destruction of them.”

“Then you know that they will do anything to stop you.”

“I don’t think they can, stop me I mean.  I think it’s too late.”

“Do you have a plan?”

“I do.  I’m just waiting for Tiana and Keith to get back so we can discuss it.”

“Larissa, I’m not sure that you should share this with them.”

“Why not?” she looked puzzled, and genuinely curious about what he would say next.

“Have you completely reconnected them with themselves yet?”

“No.  But I can’t be the only one who is capable of doing so…”

“No, you are not.  Larissa, they are not connected.  They don’t know what you and I know.  They haven’t seen it, felt it, heard it, the way we have.  Until you reconnect them completely they won’t understand what you want to do.”

“But you do?”

“I have a good idea.”

“Then help me.”

“I will.  We have to go out again, to the place you found the most energy, and discuss what we think is the best option.”

“Then let’s…” before she could finish her sentence they both heard a car pull up. She shut her mouth and widened her eyes.

“They won’t let us leave without them.” John said.

“No, Keith doesn’t trust you.  He won’t let you leave with just me.”

“We may have to do this on our own later.  Larissa, do you trust me?” He leaned forward and grabbed her hands, pressing them with his hands.

“Yes.”

“Then we will figure this out.  I will get you out of the house, probably in the middle of the night.  We will go where you tell me and we will do this.”

She nodded at him.  He dropped her hands at the sound of footsteps on the front porch.  Before the door swung open, Larissa rose and started to walk across the room.  As she passed him, she dropped something into his lap. 

“Keith, Tiana! You’re back” John heard Larissa say behind him as he looked at the turquoise flower pendant she had dropped in his lap.  He clutched it tightly, feeling the sadness radiating off the jewelry, and instantly understood why she wanted to change everything. 

He looked over his shoulder at her hugging Keith and looking into the bags they carried.  She was indeed one of a kind.  She understood what she wanted to do and the dangers.  He would do anything to protect her and help her.

He just hoped that he could do enough.